Today was a really long day and as usual, I couldn't wait to leave work to go home to my bed. Excited that it was just a couple of minutes to 5 which is supposed to be my closing time, I started getting ready to leave. Just before I shut down my computer, my boss comes in and says "it would soon rain. You can't leave now". For those of you that know me personally, you know that I can be quite stubborn so I reply him "Sir, I'll leave before it begins to rain. I'm going home by 5. Come rain, come rain. I say that part in my head.
Gbugburugburu Gbugburugburu. Ehn? Thunder? Next thing, it begins to pour heavily. I hear the security door open and as turn to see who it is, it's my boss. He's laughing at me and has his tongue sticking out like "I told you"!
Ugh.
I just want to go home.
I pray silently that God should send me a helper. Luckily, the visitor in the office at this point is heading my way and you can tell I got really excited when I learnt about this.
Fast forward to when I got to where I'm supposed to board a cab. That's how these great people of God call the price at "#400". Ehn for what? Something that is normally #50. You guys are a joke! 😑😒
I bring out my phone to do what I dunno. I think I thought of calling Uber then I remembered I'm broke.
Suddenly I feel someone touch my arm "Papa's sister". Okay..who are you? I'm Clef. Don't you remember me. I'm Papa's friend. Fake smile. Oh Hi. Shivers. Lord send me my helper unless I'll die under this rain.
Are you going to Ogudu? Thank you Jesus. Yes I am. Okay let's go.
Fast forward to getting to my bus stop (I'm sure your head is spinning from all this fast forward I've been saying) 😂
No bike? What is all this now? Next thing, I sight one guy that was on my matter years back. Eye contact. Uh hello.
I'm still stuck in the rain. Lord send another helper please. I begin to walk down the road, maybe I'll see a bike man. I see my ex crushee on a bike rushing somewhere then he sees me and tells the bike guy to turn back. Oh Lord. Is that you? Where are you going? I tell him. Oya climb let's go. Ehn? In this Lagos? In this Nigeria? Someone that liked me and I didn't send? He actually came back to pick me up. God, you work in marvelous ways. I couldn't stop saying thank you. To crown all this goodness and love I was experiencing, Snow (my amazing dog) came under the rain to greet me at the gate. He's never done that before because he doesn't like water at all! It made me feel extra loved.

On the eve of my 21st birthday which was Thursday night, I tried so hard not to bring out the melancholic side of me. You must be like "it's the big 21, why would you be melancholic? You should be excited". Let's just say the reality of becoming a legit adult was hitting me hard in the face and it was a painful blow.

It's not as if I wasn't ready to grow up. Well, let's just say it was because this new age was a soft reminder that a whole lot of responsibilities & demands were going to come my way and it all seemed too overwhelming. Therefore, I wasn't gingered enough for my birthday. The inner part of me which can sometimes be a savage said "better snap out of it; you're old" 😕

Let's just say at this point I've gathered all the zest I can to survive this. I actually have no option than to survive this. Abi?

Cheers to a new age and adulthood. Wish me luck. 😩😌

PS: If you're reading this and you wished me a happy birthday, thank you again. 😘

In the quest to have a flatter tummy with beautiful abs, I started doing sit-ups. Today will make it three days since I began, and I’m in serious pain 😣. To my amazing friends that always want to slap me when I say my tummy is big, cos’ you think it's flat enough and I’m proud, I know your hands are twitching but chill jor 😂. For those of you that have tried to do sit-ups at one point or the other in your life, I’m sure you know it’s not easy. Unless you’ve been doing it for a long time and your stomach muscles are really familiar friends with this exercise. You’re lucky. I know it took time to get to that point but it seems like a whole damn lot of time. After each session, I stand by the mirror in my room, expecting to see some form of muscle tightening somewhere, but nothing. All I see is my "supposed" big tummy.

Most times we want to achieve something important to us but we’re not ready to pay the price. It’s not as if we don’t know that there is a price to pay, it’s just that the path to paying that price is not so rosy and we readily give up. Last night, when I was doing sit-ups, I kept chanting “pain is temporary, result is final”. You can imagine how much that worked to keep me going. It's one thing to chant mantras, it's a whole different ball game to actually do it. I only did like 5 more after I started the chant, and then I gave up. I was just laughing at myself because I was like “abegi, my tummy isn’t even big. Why am I killing myself? But na me talk say I want abs”. It’s very funny and sad at the same time that we’re conscious of what we want and what to do to get there, and still, nothing.

 

How do we get past our commitment issues and actually commit? It’s important in our daily lives; work, relationship, health etc. Only through commitment do we get to achieve the desires we want, I keep repeating this mantra. So, I’m going to continue with the workout to get those defined abs that I want and I hope you continue with what you have to be committed to doing too. Take up the challenge!

"You said 'stop dreaming'

Did my dreams intimidate you?

Did it get you scared when I laid out my plans before you?

Did they seem 'unwomanly'?

Did it mess with your head that you saw a future where I would be successful, be my own boss and you won't get a chance to push me around like you do now?

Did you think it was going to mess with your ego and give you a hard time?

Too bad. Big mistake"

Don't allow anyone to make you feel like your dreams are too big; their minds are just too small to comprehend it and that's not your fault. No one should infringe on your rights to dream and aspire. Besides, in a real sense, you do not owe anyone any explanations.

Have anything to offer on the subject matter? Kindly leave comments or contact me via email and I'll most definitely reply.

Darling,
I know how you feel. You feel like the whole world is against you. Like nothing is right. Like your plans are not going as you had dreamed, hoped and prayed. Like nobody understands you. Like all your efforts are a waste and everyone keeps blaming you for all the failures you've experienced. Like the light that used to shine brightly within you has suddenly grown dim and you don't know what to do. Like the world is moving at a faster pace than you can hardly keep up with. Like you're seeing where you ought to be but you can't even get there because you're stuck in quicksand and you keep sinking, drowning in your fears of the uncertainty of the future. Like everyone around you has it all figured out. Like no one loves you. Like you’re not good enough. Like you’d never be successful and achieve your goals. I told you. I know how you feel. I feel that way sometimes too and the unrepentant thinker in me makes things worse but I'm learning how to drown out those passive, deadly thoughts. We’ll be fine eventually. I promise.

Powerful. Gracious. Beautiful. Underestimated. Worthy. Gold. You're an invaluable gift to humanity and it's time you understand/embrace this.

African. Afro-American. Latina. Caucasian. Asians. Fat. Skinny. Tall. Short. Petite. Irrespective of the color of your skin or your size or your height, we're all one. We are strong women. Sometimes the society tends to get under our skin; tries to limit our abilities but it's not for us to yield. Break free. Come out stronger. We've been created with amazing gifts that cannot be mimicked. We're queens, and queens have crowns. Beautiful crowns. Always go with that knowledge and whenever we trip, get back up, dust your elegant dress, adjust your crown and waltz away. Don't ever let anyone tell you stay on the ground because that's where you belong. Embrace who you are woman, cos' you are force to reckon with.

⇒ Volunteer more: Even if you don't have so much to give, volunteering gives you a certain sense of fulfillment when you help meet the need of a person in need.

⇒ Do what you love: There's nothing more fulfilling than following your dreams. It gives you inner peace. Yes, it may stress you sometimes but please, I'd rather be stressed doing what I love.

⇒ Be SELFISH with YOUR happiness: You're probably wondering when I stressed on those two words huh? Well… it's really important to put your happiness first sometimes because in the long run it's what matters baby!

⇒ Treat yourself to a good time: Appreciate yourself with random gifts and treats when you achieve something. Extremely big or extremely small, appreciate yourself.

⇒ Surround yourself with positive people: One of the big killers of dreams asides fear is people; negative, dream-killing people who have just positioned themselves in your life to watch your every move and judge all your actions. Don't entertain them. Remove the chairs under their butt.

⇒ Laugh for the weirdest reasons: I do this a lot. Lol. It might not even be that funny but who cares. I'm laughing to feel good and look/live younger. I tell myself inside jokes, so if you see me around laughing to myself without anyone beside me, no, I'm not mad. It was just an inside joke.

⇒ Take risks: What's the highest that can happen when you take risks and it doesn't go as you thought? You fail. So what? It's braver to take risks than to sit down regretting why you didn't. Trust me. I know what it feels like. It feels like shit.

⇒ Have exciting conversations with random people on common interests: It's always really beautiful when meet a stranger and you both hit off a really good conversation. When you talk about common interests you learn a whole lot that you didn't even imagine existed and you add to your knowledge bank.

⇒ Cry for movies: Don't hold back the tears. Cry. It'd make you appreciate love, life, health etc.

⇒ Finally, stop THINKING too much! I'm a defaulter when it comes to this one. Someone once said "if thinking was a drug, I'd die from an overdose" and I could relate to it on a 1000% level. The problem is you forget to live in the moment and appreciate what it offers.

Have you ever wished to be a child again because of one thing or the other that you see that reminds you those happy memories in your childhood, memories that you would forever cherish and not trade for anything?

My childhood was a really beautiful one. I lived in a flat with my mum and my 3 siblings, and because my siblings were way older than I was, the kind of play I wanted to play was too childish for them. Thank God each of my neighbors had kids my age, some I even went to school with and the others schooled close to my school so you can imagine what going home felt like after school hours. Since my house wasn't from school, we all walked back home together kicking dust and hanging our schoolbags on our heads (I don't even know how we were comfortable). When I got home, after taking off my uniform, the next thing I did was drink garri. I had this really long cup that I used, my special garri cup. Only God knows why I loved it so much because I don't even know myself. Even when there was no sugar, I opted for salt. Yes. I can hear you say "what? how now"? Well, I don't know what was wrong with me. It was like an addiction until one day I put a lot of it into my special cup with so much salt and I couldn't finish it, even my aunty said she was going to beat me if I didn't finish it. Your guess is as good as mine. I went to hide to throw it away.

I remember Fridays were my best days cos' school always seemed more interesting as if that was the Law of Elementary school "Fridays had to be really interesting for the kids". "Osheey no school tomorrow", was my favorite saying on Fridays, and I never touched homework until Sunday night or Monday morning or never. I can remember Primary 4 very vividly, I was always punished or flogged for not doing homework. Like every single time. Lmao. Don't worry. I became better as I grew up. Friday evenings were all about games or stories. "Catcher/Police and Thief", "Who pinch you", "Name Name Name", "Ten Ten", "Oba ni ke da'wo jo", "Mr. Macaroni/On my way to Sailor's house", "I call on", "One One touch" (Yes. I played football. Wipe the surprise off your face) and so many other games including playing house, playing emergency room (one time my cousins and I helped a cockroach give birth. Now, I cringe at the sight of a roach), playing with dolls and stuffed animals, cooking with sand, leaves and sometimes stealing ingredients from my Mum's kitchen.

As a child, there was a whole lot to enjoy including getting gifts and cash from visitors anytime they stopped by. Recently my mum's friend came to see us and he was about leaving, that's how he said "you're a big girl now. Do you still need money"? I just smiled but I'm sure you can imagine what went through my head. Being grown up can be annoying sometimes. Ugh.

Sometimes I just look at niece who is going to be 2 years old in May and I feel a rush of love flow through my entire being when she smiles or laughs or calls my name (even though she pronounces it as Auntie "Tan" instead of "Joanne", but goes ahead to call every other person's name in the house properly). I'm just like "there's nothing purer than a child's love", it makes me shed a tear sometimes just thinking about it. We have the experience of an adult, but let's strive to always have/show love like a child.

What's your favorite childhood memory?

I had just finished from a modelling class I was taking in Surulere, Lagos one time, and I was really exhausted and my feet hurt because I was practising my catwalk and my instructor made me do it over and over until I got it correctly. Ugh. In my head, I was like "and people have been deceiving me by saying I knew how to catwalk", yen yen yen.

After my class, I walked to the bus stop; well farther than where I usually took keke (tricycle), cos' I noticed that I didn't have enough money on me and I forgot my credit card at home. I had calculated that okay o, if I walk to this particular point the fare for the keke would reduce from 100 naira to 50 naira and I'll talk the BRT to my bus stop. No my dear. After walking for several minutes, I decided it was time to stop one and enter. No. I did not want to faint on the road biko. That's how I entered it and the driver or rather the tricyclist just said "100 naira any bus stop". I was like "God please don't do this to me". Well I got to the place where I could get the BRT but I looked in my hand and remembered I now had only 150 naira left and the BRT fare was 200 naira. So I walked. Have I told you before how much I love walking? Lol. But for real, I love walking; even though at this point I wasn't walking because I enjoyed it. What was my plan you ask? Sigh. My plan was to walk another distance and enter the normal yellow bus from there; at least the fare would have been cheaper. That's how I walked o. The bus would have passed a bridge normally and I couldn't walk on it because bridge. I didn't want to fall off the bridge because sometimes I feel breeze can blow me in the direction it so earnestly desires. So I walked beneath the bridge but I followed the direction of the bridge. That's how I got stuck somewhere because there was no road again. Hian. So I turned back to the direction I was coming from. I just whispered "God abeg I'm tired. Make a way for me to reach my house". Immediately I saw one other type of bus that I'd promised myself I would never enter while I was standing at a bus stop a day before (although it was wayyy cheaper). Why? Because it wasn't comfortable and it always seemed like a struggle when people tried to get on it. When I saw the bus, I just said I've gotten this opportunity to get home and I won't miss it (coupled with the fact that I had already started seeing double). I can tell you that the journey was far from comfortable as I had imagined but I was glad to get home.

Sometimes we want to achieve something but because the way to that achievement isn't convenient enough we let go of our aspirations. Sometimes inconvenience is the only way. Sometimes the inconvenience is part of the process. Take for example, the fire and the pressure that gold and diamond have to go through respectfully, to bring out the very best in them. Bottom line is just for you to endure. Endure darling, endure.